Wisdom In Parenting

My Father Passed Away

sharont6 — Fri, 12 Nov 2010 02:18:09 +0000

Please visit this link to view a tribute to my father, Don Riley

November 20, 1932–November 9, 2010

http://www.starringrocky.com/?page_id=571

Death Is Difficult

sharont6 — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 01:22:53 +0000

Death is difficult always. But watching a loved one slowly die of cancer is emotionally exhausting. I’ve encountered death both ways, too fast and too slow. A little like Goldilocks’s porridge.

My father is dying. He’s unconscious most of the time. When he occassionally looks over at me, I feel a little hope. But there truly is none.

I think the waiting is so difficult because there is a part of you that wants it to end. You are tired of watching them suffer. The state they are in isn’t really living. It’s existing. And my father deserves better.

Why is death prolonged in some people? We’ve said our goodbyes. The family is around him. We’ve followed the guidelines about releasing him, telling him it’s alright to go. And he is still here.

He has fought cancer for over seven years. It’s time for his battle to be over. I think there will be peace, more than sorrow, when he lets go.

Boundaries

sharont6 — Sun, 31 Oct 2010 19:28:44 +0000

I must learn to set boundaries. I am letting my son and daughter-in-law live in my house, rent-free. They ignore me, disrespect me and basically are acting like leaches. And I don’t have the guts to tell them to leave because I still don’t want to hurt my son’s feelings. He is going to be so hurt when he finds out what she is really like. I don’t want to add to his pain. So for anyone out there reading this:

If your spouse asks you to disrespect their parents to make them happy, you are with the wrong person.

Joseph Falls Out of Bed

sharont6 — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 00:58:23 +0000

Joseph had a special bed that looked a little like a bunk bed but it wasn’t. It hung from chains from the ceiling. The floor below it was empty and used to play. He would hang sheets from the bed above and hide in his secret caves.

His dad was too busy to build railings ( or so he always said). Then late one night I heard a loud thump and I ran into his bedroom. He was on the floor, having rolled off the bed. He was still asleep. I helped him up and he climbed up the ladder. The next morning he had no memory of it. The next day, his dad finally built the railing!

Memories

sharont6 — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 00:55:01 +0000

I’ve decided to catalog my most precious childhood memories of my two boys here so I will never lose them.

Since the illness, I do have problems with memory. Occasionally a memory pops up out of nowhere and I want to keep them.

So welcome to a new section of my blog.

sharont6 — Sun, 19 Sep 2010 01:17:06 +0000

I am exhausted. Does worry make you tired?

I try not to think about my children and worry but somehow it just seems to seep in. Unguarded moments.

I try to think loving thoughts but I always remember. Why can’t we only remember the good times?

sharont6 — Wed, 15 Sep 2010 21:51:44 +0000

Have you ever been too tired to parent?

What do you do then? You can’t send your kids back.

sharont6 — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 22:02:46 +0000

My oldest son and daughter-in-law just bought a used mobile home. They are starting over and are paying cash from an insurance settlement. I think it’s a smart move and they are closer to family. Yeah!

sharont6 — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 23:48:53 +0000

My daughter-in-law brought flowers yesterday. She said it was Grandparents Day. ( I didn’t know. ) She said the flowers were from my grandchildren who weren’t around. That was nice.

sharont6 — Sun, 12 Sep 2010 23:46:57 +0000

My younger son spent a little time with me today. His wife was babysitting. Things seemed almost normal. I was wondering if I was wrong about how he had changed.

Then he and his wife when out with a friend. She brought leftovers for me from Ruby Tuesday, one of my favorite restaurants. I said, “Thank you.” My son said to thank his wife, he had nothing to do with it. That hurt my feelings when he said it over several times. Did he think it would make me happy that he couldn’t even think to do anything nice, like bringing me leftovers of my favorite food? Of course it hurt my feelings to know that after everything I’ve done for him, he can’t even think to do one nice thing.

I am not surprised.